This Wasn’t In The Brochure!

I think you’ll pick up on today’s theme pretty quickly.

So, it’s Sunday, and that means I’ve made it to 30 weeks gestation.  Fan-freakin’-tastic.  You wanna know what being this far along really means?  It means the following: my unborn children are big enough to fight/play with each other, and that usually entails putting a pointy body part into one of my ribs or especially squishy organs.  My uterus has reached beach ball proportions and is pressing on everything — specifically lungs, bladder, and stomach.  And that means that I’m easily short of breath, always have to pee, and — while frequently hungry — only able to eat tiny, toddler-sized portions.  And heartburn.  Dear God, the heartburn.

Oh, and what happens when I get sick, huh?  I somehow managed to contract some sort of evil thing last week that initially presented as a slightly more stuffy nose than usual and turned into a horrible hacking cough AND nasal congestion on an epic scale.  And let me tell you, violent coughing + 6ish pounds of baby sitting on the bladder = possible disaster.  So I had to hunt up some maxi pads as a precaution against “accidents”.  I couldn’t decide if it made me feel more like a puppy that hasn’t quite figured out the whole housebreaking thing or a 90 year old woman.  Either way, it’s discouraging.  Thankfully, it’s finally starting to clear up.

But lest I get too terribly pleased with myself of fighting off a stupid virus, let’s not forget that I failed my 1 hour sugar test a week and a half ago, so that means I get to take the lovely 3 hour glucose tolerance test tomorrow morning.  To the uninitiated, this entails fasting for several hours (not even anything to drink!), an initial blood draw for control purposes, drinking a truly God-awful syrupy drink of doom (orange flavored), and then three more blood draws at hour intervals to see how well I process the sweet nastiness.  Then, and only then, will I be able to have a FREAKING GLASS OF WATER and some breakfast.  Oh, and my iron was super-duper low last time, so we’ll probably get to see if my double dose of extra iron pills have done anything useful.

I apologize to those of you who read this whole thing.  But I’m tired and sore and hormonal and cranky, and I really really miss spicy tuna rolls and medium rare steak, that second cup of coffee and the occasional evening cocktail while I make dinner.  I miss being able to see my feet and not having to wake up to roll over in bed and sleeping on my tummy.  At this point, every day that I can keep my boys inside me is a blessing, and I know that the end result is totally worth all the discomfort, but dear sweet merciful Jesus, I’m so incredibly DONE with being pregnant right now.


One response to “This Wasn’t In The Brochure!

  1. Nicole Hernandez

    I remember all of this. You can last. It’s only a couple more weeks. Hang in there.

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